Time to Write

                I’ve almost finished my second official week as a cashier at Stop & Shop. I got my first paycheck today (though I have to take it back to get a few things sorted out), and I’ve got my schedule for next week (which consists of morning and one afternoon shift). I’ve pretty much got the whole cashier figured out. There are a few things I still need to learn, but I am still new.

                One problem I’ve found with working is that I don’t seem to have time to write. And before you say anything, I did say “I don’t seem” to have the time. Maybe it’ll change when I work during the day rather than at night. But the problem is that I seem to get home when my parents are home, and I feel like I have to spend time with them. Then there’s Grace to take care of, who is usually bouncing off the walls because she’s been stuck in her crate for five or six hours.  And by the time I sit down to write, my watch reads ten at night, and I have to shut off the computer to have any chance of falling asleep by eleven.

                As for the mornings, I could be writing then (are here are some excuses why I’m not). But I don’t get out of bed until eight-thirty or nine in the morning. That, I know, needs to change. Even then I still feel like I have a hard time getting things done in the morning. It’s as if I need those morning hours to get myself amped up and moving.

                I’ve got a bunch more excuses too.

                Grace for one. She’s active and looking for trouble for about an hour after we get up, and then she crashes in her bed, sleeping for the next three or so hours.

                Number two is my laptop. The battery is slowly becoming less and less happy about holding a charge. As a result, I may get two and a half hours out of it before needing to plug it in to charge for somewhere in the neighborhood of four hours.

                I could always write at my desk, where the laptop can charge. But then I’d have to move Grace into her crate, and she just looks so peaceful lying there in her bed. I don’t trust her not to get into trouble if she wakes up and I’m not there.

                See? Excuses. If I had more time, I’m sure I could come up with a dozen more.

                There are always reasons not to write. I’ll always have something I think I should be devoting my time toward.  That’s exactly how I felt when I was at school and why I loved workshop classes that gave me a hall pass (so to speak) to write. And when I didn’t have workshop classes, I consoled myself by saying that I’d have all the time in the world to write once I graduated. So I would work on something else that needed to get done before writing. I would work on a history paper, a thesis, or a literature paper. I would study or read for class. I wouldn’t write.

                Now my excuses are lacking the time amidst the puppy, family, and work. I need to stop letting those excuses keep me from writing. I want to write, I really do. I just need to make a schedule and stick to it.

                I need to pick one or two hours a day, put the dog in her crate in my room, and sit at the computer with the wifi turned off. I need to make myself stare at a blank Word document and force my fingers to move over the keyboard until the screen in front of me is no longer blank. I need to make myself write again because I love it when I do. I love writing and getting lost in the story and characters. I miss it.

                And so the point behind this post is really simple. I’m sure you’ve all figured it out despite my convoluted and repetitive writing. I need to quit making excuses. I need to start writing.